exhausted

I'm so tired. I've come back off holiday more tired than I was before. I am exhausted. I don't think I can do this for much longer. I can't switch my mind off. I can't escape all the negative thoughts that run through my head every second of the day. From being sexually abused to… Continue reading exhausted

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is there a normal?

I started writing this blog with the title 'am I normal?' but then it changed to 'what is normal?' and now I've settled on 'is there a normal?' When I was in school, we had an assembly promoting diversity. We were told we should say to ourselves 'I am special' everyday but we laughed it… Continue reading is there a normal?

please snow

It's been a rough few days, weeks, months, years. But the past couple of months has been particularly tough considering the whole living situation thing. Something thats got me through it though is knowing that I am going on holiday soon. In fact I go away on Saturday for a week with my mum dad… Continue reading please snow

a missing page

I just spent two hours writing a blog but realised that if I posted it, my anonymity would be no more. I want to write about my past but there is one aspect that makes it difficult to keep anonymous. I've not told anyone about this page I have, and I want to keep it… Continue reading a missing page

back home again: part iv

I never expected there to be a part four to this. I wanted it to be over that day I told Grace and Rebecca how they made me feel. I woke up the next day however, and I had had a text from Grace. I thought it might just be a nice "I'm glad we talked… Continue reading back home again: part iv

it started with a splash

I don't recall anything from being sexually abused until my first memories of my swimming career. My parents got me involved in to the world of swimming from a very young age and surely enough I progressed through the ranks and was selected to be part of a local squad when I was only 9… Continue reading it started with a splash

back home again: part iii

Four days ago, I woke up at 6am to make sure I had time to commute to university from home. I was extremely apprehensive and nervous but I had gone over what I wanted to say a million times so felt relatively confident that I would be able to say what I wanted to. Originally… Continue reading back home again: part iii

back home again: part ii

When it sunk in what had happened, I messaged my mum telling her what had happened. She wanted to call me but I declined because I know Grace would be able to hear me from her room. I wanted to run away and escape from everything to start a fresh. So I did. I was… Continue reading back home again: part ii